Ventriloquist

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yaeh, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'

Ozzie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Ozzie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f****** liar.....'