More Jokes

Redneck couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.


Husband says "Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister."


My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.


She said she wanted to come back as a pig.


I said, "You're not fucking listening."


Was depressed last night, rang Lifeline.


Got a call center in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.


They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.


I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car, and drives off.


Today a liberal was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.


Local police said it's the worst case of suicide they have ever seen.

A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today.

Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.


Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what they are made of.


The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1,500.00 a pair.


The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant tells her "Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99."


Woman in labor, shouting and screaming as usual "get this out of me, give me drugs."


She turns to the boyfriend and says "You did this to me you fucker."


He replied casually, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your butt but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be to painful.'"


Now who's laughing...