Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'


We haven't used Sears repair since.



IDIOT SIGHTING:


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing..' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' he said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'


Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs Office



AND THE BIGGEST IDIOT SIGHTING OF THEM ALL:

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? Lee - A?? Lay - a?? Lei??
No, Nope, NO, & Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

77 comments:

Hermitbiker said...

.... these are great, where do I sign up !! :)

Cassandra said...

I stumbled here - these make me feel so much better! Sometimes I think it must be me!!

Jayne said...

Why is the last one the "Biggest Idiot Sighting of Them All"?

"If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent."

So this is what it's come to.

Debbie @ Happy Maker said...

These are good. It is a little scare to know these people are running lose out there.
Thanks for smiles and keep it up. You are appreciated
Debbie

Anonymous said...

these are the people all around us, they drive, work and live right next door. Sigh. Idiots everywhere.

the last one is pretty bad, the "Le-a" isn't ledasha anyway. that's called a hyphen! Lehyphena

Anonymous said...

So many facepalms...the one about slipping stuff in your bag without noticing isn't really an idiot moment though; if you admit to something being there without your knowledge, that makes you a gullible liar. Guess it's a pre-screening to weed out the crooks of lesser intelligence.

Anonymous said...

I loved reading these until I got to the last one. Snopes.com has actually researched this urban myth, there's no documentation about anyone with that name, and every time the story is said the location is different. http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp A few others seem to be apocraphal as well, but still a good read.

Anonymous said...

the right wing bigot homophobe don't care about facts and will probably delete that snopes link you posted

Anonymous said...

Actually, at the school I teach at, we have a student transferring in named "La-a" or "Ladasha". That was confusing for us for a while.

Anonymous said...

read em all before :(

The Sanity Inspector said...

Eh, these sound like they came from the Too Good To Check file, to me.

The Sanity Inspector said...

I once encountered a plump young woman named Rotunda. And I heard third-hand rumors of a girl named Formica Dinette.

Anonymous said...

These would all be funny if they weren't entirely fake and had been floating around the internet since its creation.

Anonymous said...

oh god....the last one reminds me of my GF's mother.

Jsu said...

Very funny, this actually happens?

Anonymous said...

I work in a pub, and a grounp of Irish people were celebrating a christening.
One guy comes up and asks for two glasses of chardonnay. But, he already has the glasses. My colleague pulled out two glasses, and he said 'No, I aready have glasses outside thanks'. So she pulls out a bottle 'NO! I don't want a whole bottle, just two chardonnay.' He was actually getting irate.
Once he realised the fatal flaw in his request, though, he did apologise...for confusing her.
Sweet :)

Ferris Again said...

Uh...why do you have a COEXIST logo at the top followed by a string of uber right-wing BS following it?!

Anonymous said...

I was in a restaurant in the South once for lunch. I asked the waitress what the soup of the day happened to be, and she replied (in her best Southern accent), "Du Jour Soup". I asked her to repeat that and she pointed to the menu and said, "It says it right there...Du Jour Soup. I'm not sure what's in it, though."

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The last one is blatantly racist.

Anonymous said...

WTF is racist about the last one? You a g-damn racist for thinking that way.

Anonymous said...

I went into a McDonalds with my kids and along with our meal we ordered 2 cups of water. She started to ring up bottled water and i told her just wanted 2 cups of water with ice not a bottle. she filled up 2 cups with ice and then opened a bottled water and poured it into the cups. My kids just looked with their mouths open in total disbelief

Anonymous said...

I was sitting at the gas station in the back of my friends car. The car next to us had two people in it. The man got out to pay and the woman went to the pump. The man was almost to the door when his lady shouted at the top of her lungs "What year do I put in it"?

Since she was blonde would this be a good joke?

Anonymous said...

funny, I suppose, but as others have said, what a right-wing bigoted schmuck. I will definitely thumbs down this one.

ty said...

i live in MS and have also heard and actually seen a girl named le-a... and knowing that someone else named their child "le-a" almost makes me lose faith in humanity.....

Anonymous said...

You have a sign "The Obama Sticker on your car might as well say "Yes, I'm stupid"". The irony of that sign saying more about your stupidity than theirs is priceless.

Anonymous said...

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

The idiots are those who can't understand this question. It doesn't mean "is there something in your bag that you don't know is there", it's "did you find something in your bag that someone must have put in there while you couldn't see him do it".

If you got your baggage back from the plane, and found some unknown stuff inside, then you could honestly answer "yes, someone put this thing in my bag without my knowledge".

Sophie said...

NEED MORE IDIOT SIGHTINGS.

Thomas said...

good post.

question: why do you have a "coexist" banner/picture/ad at the top of the page and another one at the middleish of the page talking about how many acts of terrorism islamic terrorists have committed? it seems kinda contradictory to me.

Anonymous said...

Idiot sighting: People who feed their children McDonals and Taco Bell.

Anonymous said...

You guys are all idiots for writing this crap. Whatever makes you feel better.

Anonymous said...

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
all people do is bitch

Anonymous said...

On the McDonalds one:

If they handed you back 1.75, they gave you too much.

$4.25 + $1.75 = $6

This blog is dumb.

coma_pink said...

Bloody racist, I was half enjoying these before I started paying a little more attention. Go take you nationalism and fuck off!

Anonymous said...

my dad works with computers on an Air force base and once some one called him with a computer problem and he being the computer guy went to help, he got there and asked what the problem was they told him the computer wouldn't turn on so he looked at it hit the button and just like the person said it didn't turn on so he studied it just a bit more and couldn't help but notice it wasn't plugged in. he told them and they refused to believe it, till he showed them. *face palm* on an air force base of all places!!

Anonymous said...

The McDonalds one is a lot more common than you'd want to believe. I do the same thing as the writer pretty often - give $11.00 for a bill that's $5.75 in order to get a $5 back rather than four ones and change. More often than not, the cashier will look at me like I've got a unicorn horn growing out of my forehead. It's second grade math, people, jeez!

Anonymous said...

Umm...how have these people not died from forgetting to eat or drink yet? Honestly, if you're this dumb you need to go through special education. Then maybe some regular schooling. Then if it doesn't make their brain explode some college or at least community college.

Anonymous said...

stumbled

Funny

The Le-a doesn't shock me. And I would call snoopes out they may be wrong. I have seen with my own eyes someone named Le mon jell o and o range jell o. And the one that takes the cake shi thead. There were no spaces I put the spaces to help understand how they are pronounced.

And why is the last one blatantly racist? There was no race mentioned. I think those who call out racism assumed through there own racist colored glasses it was one race or another that said that. Besides there are people who talk like that. Does it have to be a racist comment if you are quoting someone?? get real!

Colin said...

Idiot Sighting: The Internet.

I stumbled a blog today that at first looked funny and possibly interesting. However I soon realized none of the stories/jokes posted could have happened. Then I noticed the blog bumper stickers to the right side...this was when I realized the author was an ass-hat.

Anonymous said...

The only idiot involved in the airport check was apparently the traveler.

theworldisde-evolving said...

My god black people come up with the worst "African" names. I actually know quite a few Africans and not one of thier names are anything like that. Black Americans have the be the stupidest bunch of people I've ever met. Not all of them of course, surely people can tell a difference between Soulja Boy and Barack Obama right?

Just sayin' said...

Apparently you think the coexist logo is just a purdy picture, I think your fellow right wingnuts will not approve of it being on your blog. I suggest you Google it. You know, on the internet thing.

Anonymous said...

I ordered chicken nuggets at the Burger King drive-through and the cashier said "you mean chicken *Mc*Nuggets?"....yeah.

Anonymous said...

Congrats you can cut and paste

Anonymous said...

after a boozy night out me and this random girl went to the chip shop, i asked 'what sort of fish do you want with your chips luv?'
she said 'oooh.. battered!'
proper funny

Anonymous said...

Stumbled in. Thought some were funny, though probably not very original.

What I thought was funny was the commenter somewhere above that said it amazed him or her that these people are "lose" out there. I think you meant loose.

Anonymous said...

Im glad these are all from kansas, that explains it pretty much

Beth said...

Too funny! I stumbled here as well but I also have a blog on this site called "Gorgeous Everything" that you are more than welcome to visit!

Anonymous said...

I went to McDonald's once and asked for a Caesar salad. The clerk asked what kind of dressing I wanted on it. I told her it was called a Caesar salad because of the Caesar dressing. She said, "No. It's because it's made with Caesar lettuce!"

Anonymous said...

I stumbled here so I haven't read any of the other postings. That being said I definitely do not see how any of these idiot sightings are "right wing blah blah blah" being a liberal and a pagan I think I can comment on right wing garbage as an expert lol. Like I said I haven't read any of the other postings (and to be honest I don't really intend to I'd rather continue stumbling) but please those of you whoa re calling these idiot sightings "right wing blah blah blah" shut it. You make reasonable liberals look bad. BTW, these were priceless, perhaps fake (as others eluded to) but gave me a good chuckle none the less.

VaBookworm87 said...

My boss totally did the same thing with her power strip once... she spent ages trying to figure it out and I didn't wanna be impertinent and point it out... so instead I sat there, dying on the inside, at the immense stupidity of the world lol

Anonymous said...

did anyone notice that all of these are from the south? hahaha dumb rednecks

ceallaig2001 said...

Re the 'lemonjello' comment -- I can verify that one, it's my ex-husband's cousins, Oranjello and Lemonjello, and I am NOT kidding. At one point early in my rehab teaching career I had a client named Urethra -- her mom heard that when she was in the hospital giving birth and thought it would be a pretty name for her baby girl. Again, NOT kidding. I don't have a clue how many of these are true, but they all sound like 'here's your sign' candidates.

Anonymous said...

I have a good one... I went through the Tim Hortons drive-thru and asked for my usual "multi-grain bagel with light version of cream cheese". The worker then told me that they did not have multi-grain bagels, only 5 grain. I gave a wtf look in my car and replied that it was fine. Then when I went to eat my bagel there was hardly any cream cheese. Confused employee? I think yes...

Daniel P. said...

Anyone that thinks these are real are the true idiots.
These are fake and old.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed over the years liberals are the most racist.

Anonymous said...

What kind of retarded asswipe asks for 'minimal lettuce'? You should automatically be stoned by angry muslims for some faggity comment like that.

Anonymous said...

I was in Target purchasing two bottles of Minutemaid orange juice, each bottle had a peel off instant coupon for 55 cent. The cashier removed both coupons, scanned one and handed me the other one and told me that I could use it later. I replied why would I want to do that? She turned the coupon over, read the back and stated it says "Do Not Double".

Anonymous said...

Funniest names I cam across working in a hospital lab are Placensha and Juleween.

Unknown said...

I stumbled onto this site... this makes me sad. people like this shouldn't be allowed to breed

Tony said...

tc: love it face booked it instantly

I luv my wifey said...

A couple years back I was leaving the gym with my family after a basketball game when my mom slipped on some icy stairs and had to get picked up by the ambulance. (it was actually quite awful.) Out bursts the maintenance guy with an over zealous desire to be useful. Upon seeing the icy stairs he blurts out "We should throw some warm water on it, to melt the ice!" ... um wutt?

Anonymous said...

ive worked at McDonalds for several years as im paying my way through college, and there are definitely some slow employees that i wonder about. but i cant tell you how many stupid customers we get either. i had a lady come through the drive-through once and ask for "four mini-mcchickens." i thought she must have misspoke so i wasnt going to say anything, but then she emphasized, "you know, the little ones." i told her we'd be sure to give her the smallest we had hahaha

Anonymous said...

The scary part is they probably VOTE too.

Anonymous said...

@Heather... SURELY, noticing idiots isn't a "right-wing" thing. Left-wi.... Wait. Maybe it IS only the "right-wing" that can see the idiots.. Huh. Go back to your self-righteous and blind stupidity.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, i guess that last one has no factual base. Also, i dont know if you all see the same symbols on the sides of the blog as I do, but it is funny to see the "Coexist" sign on the same page as the racist one with obama with big ears and lips.

Anonymous said...

To the Le-a post, that last comment is completely unnecessary. You are not being funny. It is not necessary to voice you opinion about something, especially in a condescending manner.

Anonymous said...

I would just like to point out that I am a college student with a 3.8 GPA and I have worked at McDonald's for 5 years. Not all cashiers at McD's are dumb.

Anonymous said...

Apparently I'm not moving to Kansas....all the idiot sightings seem to be there.

Anonymous said...

This is pretty sad. You people have nothing better to do then bitch?

Anonymous said...

Actually that last one with La-a was at a high school in Indianapolis.

Anonymous said...

You should be happy, though; they're all stupid enough to vote Republican.

Anonymous said...

I think your all retarded for voting to either party its not Democrat or Republican that doesn't work its our bi-partisan system. Both parties have terrible and good ideas, there just to extreme so sorry but no one bitching about another party will get anywhere. And for the tards that called the last thing racist.... no one said an ethnicity or race in the entire thing so YOU are racist for accepting the stereotype of the way someone pronounces words(extremely racist) hahaha you racist tards

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Hawaii. In 1993, when I was in the Air Force, II went to the base post office in Wichita Falls, TX to mail a package back home via USPS First Class. The clerk proceeded to tell me I needed to send it via international air mail. Being perplexed, I asked why I needed to use international air mail, and she disgustedly told me because Hawaii was in another country. Took me a bit to convince her Hawaii was a state. No wonder the USPS is bankrupt...

Anonymous said...

Kristy McNichol is very sad about kids being bullied. She hopes that coming out can help kids who need support. She would like to help others who feel different. Done with acting, Kristy spends her time focusing on tennis, yoga, travel and raising her beloved miniature dachshunds. She is very happy and healthy and she enjoys living a very private life.
local bulldog puppy breeders

Anonymous said...

Went to Wendy's drtve thru and asked for sugar for my iced tea== girl slams window in my face, really you people take the fun out of everything!!!

Anonymous said...

100% bullshit. Then some racist bullshit at the end.