Tom and the Girl

One school day a boy named Tom was sitting in class and doing math. It was six more minutes until after school. As he was doing his homework something caught his eye. His desk was next to the window and he turned and looked to the grass outside. It looked like a picture. When school was over he ran to the spot where he saw it. He ran fast so that no one else could grab it.

He picked it up and smiled. It had a picture of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had a dress with tights and red shoes on. She was holding two fingers up in a peace sign.

She was beautiful and Tom wanted to meet her so he ran all over the school and asked everyone if they knew her or had ever seen her before but everyone he asked said no. Tom was devistated. When Tom got home he asked his older sister if she knew the girl but unfortunately she also said no. It wsa late so Tom walked up the stairs, placed the picture on his desk and went to sleep.

In the middle of the night Tom was awakened by a tap on his window. It was like a nail tapping and Tom got scared. After the tapping Tom heard a gigle and he saw a shadow near his window. Tom got out of bed and walked toward his window, ipened it up and followed the giggling. By the time he reached it, it was gone.

The next day he asked his neighbors if they knew her. Everyone Tom asked said no. When Tom's mother came home he even asked her if she knew the girl. Tom's mother also said no. Tom went to his room and placed the picture back on his desk, went back to bed, and fell asleep.

Again Tom was awakened by a tapping. Tom took the picture and followed the giggling. As Tom walked across the road he was suddenly hit by a car.

The driver of the car stopped and tried to help Tom but Tom laid dead on the street with the picture of the beautiful girl still clutched in his hand.

The driver took the picture out of Tom's hand and looked at it. He saw a beautiful girl holding up three fingers.

So Wrong...

Wrong Number?

It was another boring Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television (in the hopes that I would be entertained) when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

A girl's voice came over the line.

"Can I speak to Ben, please?"

I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number. Of course, it was also a dull evening, even for Arizona.

"I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"

"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.

"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."

Silence on the other end... a confused silence. I had a live one.

"Is this Steve?"

My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.

"Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"

"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I must have sounded a lot more like Steve than I had thought.

I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00."

A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"

"The girl he went out with." (I've seen Fletch several times).

"I know that! I mean... who is she?" (She must have seen Fletch, too... Or is that Fletch Too? Whatever...)

"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?"

"Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."

She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. Now would be a good time to call an end to the charade.

"I sure will. Is this Jennifer?"

She exploded this time. "WHO'S JENNIFER?!"

Apparently she wasn't.

"Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake."

"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that ALICE called him and that she's VERY UPSET and that I would LIKE HIM to CALL ME as SOON AS HE GETS HOME."

I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..."

"BECKY?!?!?!"

"*click*"

Long Antlers

Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers
* *
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

' It's a guy thing, regardless of species. '

Good Vibrations

(Click for larger image)

CAN-O-WHOOPASS

What Grown Men Do With Their Old GI Joe Action Figures