Survivor, Texas-Style!

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style!" 

The 9 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville ...

They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo .

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas ...

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads: 

"I'm a Democrat,"
"I'm Gay,"
"I love the Dixie Chicks,"
"Boycott Beef,"
"I Voted for Obama,"
" George Strait Sucks,"
"Hillary in 2012"
   And
"I'm here to confiscate your guns.." 

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. 

God Bless Texas !! 

School Bus in Japan

School Bus in Japan







School Bus in India




But where did you call when you have a technical problem with your computer?

Japan or India?

Super Soft

Coming soon to a shitter near you!

A Child's Prayer

Dear God,

Please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer who don't have any.

Amen !!!

Drive up ATM

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wal let and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look and finger to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.