How to Shower like a Man

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to the bathroom.
• If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror and scratch your butt
• Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
• Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
• Wash your butt, leaving coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
• Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
• Pee.
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Partially dry off.
• Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
• If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
• Throw wet towel on bed.