Thursday, August 29, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
President Obama hits the golf course... again...
Like Tiger said, "Not bad for a guy who only hits the links 5 or 6 days a week."
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
The Last Nickel
A man entered a restaurant with his very young son. He gave the boy three nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy was choking, turning blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels: He began slapping him on the back. The child coughed up two nickels, but continued choking. Seeing his son in such distress, the father panicked and shouted for help.
An attractive, serious-looking, lady in a dark blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping coffee. She looked up, put the cup down, folded the newspaper neatly, placing it on it on the counter, rose from her seat strutted stylishly unhurried, through the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, she carefully removed his pants; took his testicles in her right hand and started to squeeze, twisting, gently at first, and then strongly. The lad convulsed violently and coughed up the coin, which the woman deftly caught with her free hand.
She released the boy's testicles, handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the counter without saying a word.
When the man was sure his son has suffered no ill effects, he went over to the lady to thank her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that; it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
"No," the lady replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
Suddenly, the boy was choking, turning blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels: He began slapping him on the back. The child coughed up two nickels, but continued choking. Seeing his son in such distress, the father panicked and shouted for help.
An attractive, serious-looking, lady in a dark blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping coffee. She looked up, put the cup down, folded the newspaper neatly, placing it on it on the counter, rose from her seat strutted stylishly unhurried, through the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, she carefully removed his pants; took his testicles in her right hand and started to squeeze, twisting, gently at first, and then strongly. The lad convulsed violently and coughed up the coin, which the woman deftly caught with her free hand.
She released the boy's testicles, handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the counter without saying a word.
When the man was sure his son has suffered no ill effects, he went over to the lady to thank her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that; it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
"No," the lady replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
Ammo shortage
Folks, The situation on getting ammo is getting really tight, but this morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo.
I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She happened to notice my two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"
I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
Monday, July 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Can You Name This Old Tool?
Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history.
Do you know what this is?
Give it a guess, and then look below for the answer.
Hint:
Used by a physician .........
Hint:
It's a medical tool ........
Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s-1810s)
The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.
A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum.
The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blowin' smoke up your ass."
It has been reintroduced in Washington, by the Obama Administration as an integral part of the new Health Care program.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Survivor, Texas-Style!
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style!"
The 9 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville ...
They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo .
From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas ...
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads:
"I'm a Democrat,"
"I'm Gay,"
"I love the Dixie Chicks,"
"Boycott Beef,"
"I Voted for Obama,"
" George Strait Sucks,"
"Hillary in 2012"
And
"I'm here to confiscate your guns.."
The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.
God Bless Texas !!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
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