Chicago Style...

Heckler gonna get it Chicago style!

Survivor, Texas-Style!

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style!" 

The 9 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville ...

They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo .

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas ...

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads: 

"I'm a Democrat,"
"I'm Gay,"
"I love the Dixie Chicks,"
"Boycott Beef,"
"I Voted for Obama,"
" George Strait Sucks,"
"Hillary in 2012"
   And
"I'm here to confiscate your guns.." 

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. 

God Bless Texas !! 

One Nation under oBama

Well......

Pretty Much...

Big Brother Anyone?

Was it Worth Voting for Him, TWICE!?

The Flag of People Against PRISM

INEPTOCRACY

 Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Difference Between Supreme Court and Ku Klux Klan

What's the difference between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan?

The Supreme Court wears black robes and scares the hell out of white people.

Who's that?

Who's that sitting in oBama's chair?  peeBO get's shown up in his own office.  LOL

Amnesty

Speaking of Teams and Opinions

I'll be frank, since it's good to speak clearly and be heard as such. Everyone is playing for a team. They are born into these teams, genetically hardwired to come out black or brown or male or female, and you'd be hard-pressed to get them to back the opposition on any front. Stretch?

Well, have a look at American elections; people are so polarized between conservative and liberal groups, they don't think for a second they're wrong about anything, even if they're doing the exact same things they've previously called the other team out on.

A lot of this also has to do with where they pick it up at. On a campus, if you're not a liberal, you're a goddamned pariah. The ideas of institutional racism/tyrannical patriarchy are greatly emphasized in almost all aspects of college life now, and along with them, the justification that it's acceptable to be prejudiced against white males. 

The irony, of course, is lost on them; they have become the monster in the mirror, and vehement (and grossly intentional) denial of the truth behind what they stand for says one thing: For some reason, they are unwilling to look into that mirror, perhaps because they're afraid of what they'll see. 

Much of this doublethink and the terms they use smack greatly of communist subversion, at the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist - which is another term they bandy about to isolate and silence any dissenters. Obviously.  That's my take. 

I read the whole entry and understand your perspective, and your frustrations. Perhaps open-mindedness isn't something to be sought out through political affiliations, as many would have us believe. When politics come into play, everything has interchangeable meanings – especially "open-mindedness."

-- Author Unknown

About The Gays

I've always believed homosexuality was largely biological, and have never really had a beef with them.

However, it has never been something I care to hear a great deal about… my understanding is that the 10% figure is way too high, and I've heard 2 or 3% is more accurate. This is a small minority of people… and it’s also clearly something that could reasonably be thought of as a birth defect. I’m all for treating gay people with dignity, respect, and leaving them alone… but I feel that this very rare variant of human sexuality has become FAR too prominent in our national landscape. We are hearing about it FAR too often and they are pushing FAR too hard for more and more.

People need to be adult about these things and just realize, some times you get the short end of the stick from birth… if you’re blind, people will try to do things like invent braille, seeing eye dogs, etc… but at the end of the day, you will face massively more hardship than the sighted. If you’re deaf, we invent sign language and cochlear implants and we try hard to accommodate those disabilities or any other… wheelchair ramps, etc… but at the end of the day, being born with an unusual defect, no matter what it is… is ALWAYS going to be an inconvenience and doom you to a life of living in a world that just doesn't seem built for you.

It’s sad, but it’s the nature of the real world… and much like the deaf shouldn't expect everyone to stop listening to music or to learn sign language, and the blind shouldn't expect everyone to wear blindfolds in solidarity… and paraplegics shouldn't expect everyone to use wheelchairs in solidarity… homosexuals should not expect the rest of society to rework its entire understanding of marriage and family and sexuality.

I realize it must have been rough for people living in the closet in the 50′s, etc… but frankly society was healthier because it had a clarity about gender roles, sexuality, and such. Unfortunately, for a society to be healthy and strong, I believe it is inevitable that some will feel left out.

--Author unknown

How Could this Happen?

This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX who reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Pedernales River near the state highway bridge. 

The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in Kerrville ... He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 6 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 2½ inch false eyelashes and an Obama T-shirt.

The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment. 

Texas police do care!

Voter Crossing

BE PREPARED !!!!!!!

Rumors are circulating in California that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in Los Angeles, killing anyone who is a legal U.S. citizen.

 

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 23.

Frequent Filer Miles and Swinging on Mars

The year is 2222, and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen .

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another...

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen

'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough for me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to admit it to you,' says Maureen , 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache ... She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'

How come?

Sonoran Dog

El Guero Canelo, Tucson, Ariz.: Sonoran Dog

El Guero Canelo

Next on our list is a hot dog that is completely unlike any other in the country: the Sonoran Dog, a shining example of international cooperation. John T. Edge first brought this hot dog into the spotlight in 2009, and even though it’s been around for more than 40 years, the Sonoran is having quite a moment in the sun. Here’s how it works: a hot dog is wrapped in bacon (good place to start), griddled until crispy, stuffed into a split-top bun that’s different from any other in the country, and topped with any of a slew of condiments that usually involve beans, diced tomatoes, mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise. There are stands all over Tucson selling Sonorans, but the most shining example is sold in the humble, ragtag El Guero Canelo, which got its start as a tiny cart run by Daniel and Blanca Contreras in 1993 and now has a semi-outdoor seating area, a massive array of toppings, and an ever-present jovial vibe.

New Democrat Golf Hat

Coexist

Gosnell Who?

Libtards

Who do you love!?

I Miss Chicago...

I was in Ft. Myers, Florida the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a  parked car that read: "I Miss Chicago."

So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"

The Joke

The oBama Express

All aboard!!

Imagine If...

Operation Floodgate

Never Again ... The historical truth about gun control

Buy a Shotgun

Free Ride

Hop on-board the oBamacare Express!

And for his next trick...

... you will all get to see President oBama balance the ball on his nose!

Dark Times

Times are bad.

The Battling Boys of Benghazi

Ignorance Is No Excuse For Stupidity

From the president who demanded Georgetown University hide or remove all religious and Christian symbols; appearing under a portrait of Arafat (the 2nd most prolific terrorist in modern history) is not a problem.  What an embarrassment oBama is to the USA.

The Plan

Makin' Bacon

General Black Jack Pershing

Pretty White Girls

Tea Time

Forward

Somebody likes oBama Care

Mooch Hands Out Toys

Oh what a joyful and giving first lady...  Her feelings towards Toys for Tots is undeniable.

I guess when your normal routine includes monthly luxury vacations billed to the taxpayers doing something nice for underprivileged kids isn't much fun.  Long live the queen...

Lecture

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of
night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

There Are Two Paths

"I'd rather have a mormon than a muslim in the whitehouse." --Source unknown

Hate Jackasses?

Remember January 20, 2009?

So Tight!

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy.

"Put your finger in me..." she asks him.

So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning.

"Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one.

She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!".

So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!".

So the guy puts both of his hands in!

"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.

"I can't", says the guy.

The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".

The Old Cow

Recently out in the California countryside south of San Francisco, a cow suddenly jumped out into the road, and the oncoming limousine hit it full on. The lady in the backseat said to her chauffeur, "You get out and check on it, because you were driving."

So the chauffeur got out, checked, and reported that the cow was dead, but that it was also very old.

Then the lady said, "You go up to that farmhouse, and tell the farmer that you accidentally killed the old cow."

So the chauffeur did indeed go up to the farmhouse, and 2-hours later he returned. His hair was all ruffled-up, he was totally plastered, and he had a big grin on his face.

So the lady asked, "What ever happened to you?"

The chauffeur replied, "After I got to the farmhouse, and delivered the message that you told me to say, the farmer opened-up his best bottle of malt whiskey, his wife gave me a delicious country meal and their pretty daughter made love to me."

The lady asked, "What on earth did you say to them?"

"I just knocked on the front door, and when the farmer opened it, I said to him, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow!"

Liberty

It starts and ends with one question: "who owns you?"

If you believe that you are owned by your society, that others are entitled to your person, your property, and your compliance with their beliefs, then your demand of the law is that it limits freedom in order to maximize equality.

Conversely, if you believe that you own yourself, that you alone are entitled to your person, your property, and your compliance, then your demand of the law is that it protects your rights from those who would limit your freedom.

This is why we do not get along anymore. We want different things from the law, from our leaders, from our government, and from each other. In the first case, the owned person seeks to negotiate the terms of his existence through the passage of laws which bind individuals. In the second case, the free person seeks to keep his liberty non-negotiable through the passage of laws which bind government.

We call the owned person “socialist” and the self-owned “libertarian”; both are better adjectives than nouns. One turns to government reflexively to solve all his problems, the other turns against government reflexively, the cause of all of our problems. Right or left has lost all meaning; up or down, more or less, bigger or smaller – this is the choice we must make regarding government.

We are a nation divided because the two things are mutually exclusive - liberty and government. One cannot expand unless the other necessarily contracts; we can be free or we can be governed, but we can not be both at once. Our government is approaching smothering mass; we must either constrain it or lose ourselves in it.

In Wisconsin, the socialists are attempting to recall a Governor for passing a law that binds government. In Washington D.C. an incumbent President faces an uphill re-election bid after passing a law that binds individual choice. One race is about collective bargaining, and the other collective medicine; two referendums on coercion that will set the trajectory of our liberties for decades.

In a nation of free people, liberty would defeat government by a crushing margin; coercion is toxic to the self-owned. But in our nation, polls show both races too close to call - such is the sad state of liberty in 21st century America. A century of drift away from the Liberty Principle has left the idea of true self-ownership unimaginable to most people. We have relied on the force of government so long we need to remind ourselves how to live as free people.

Free people do not engage in coercion; they interact with each other through voluntary exchange. Labor is exchanged for wage, risk is exchanged for profit, property is exchanged for property, compliance is exchanged for reciprocal obligation, and charity is exchanged for self-satisfaction. Our associations are voluntary, our purchases are voluntary, and our commitments to each other are voluntary. Our strongest bonds are those freely formed – family, faith, friends, patriotism, civic pride, shared interest, volunteerism – not those codified into law.

The social contract between free persons is based upon value, and the self-owned person values his fellow citizen too highly to take their person or property by force or fraud. He cherishes his own liberty too much to restrict the liberty of others. He loves his freedom too much to hate it in others.

The free person does not take, does not coerce, does not compel by force of law; he persuades, he offers, he cooperates, he engages in reciprocal exchange that can only take place when the transaction benefits both parties. We rely on the law to record our agreements, not to impose upon us the agreements made by others.

Mandates, prohibitions, subsidies, licenses, and preferences distort the proper workings of free markets, and free enterprise is the only kind that is sustainable. It is hard to imagine that these fundamental principles upon which our nation was founded – self-ownership, individual liberty, free markets - could now be so misunderstood, so feared and so mistrusted. But that is where we find ourselves.

Freedom is hard, and we have become soft. Living as free persons demands a measure of independence that few willingly undertake; and it demands a measure of tolerance that few of us are willing to give.

Living free means respecting the freedom of others, and the self-owned must tolerate choices we find morally reprehensible. We need not approve, endorse, accept, or subsidize reprehensible choices of others, we must simply tolerate them.

This is a small price to pay, considering the alternative. The state-owned must not only tolerate the morally reprehensible, but must pay for it and be subjugated to it by the force of law. Every mandate of government violates some citizen’s moral code. Every penny spent is a penny taken; every prohibition is the denial of choice; every ban is a violation of the right to pursue happiness – a right once viewed as so fundamental it was simply declared without need for justification.

And yet how do our politicians measure their legacy? They count the number of laws they passed, the quantity of things they banned, the amount of money they spent, the size of fines they imposed, the level of subsidy they provided, the scope of mandates they imposed. Those are not the accomplishments of statesmen; they are the meager boasts of common scoundrels.

This year’s elections are shaping up to be a nationwide referendum on the fundamental question of ownership. The names will differ, but the choice – liberty or government - will be same. The important question is not the one you might ask of each candidate but the one you ask of yourself – who owns you?

From there, the right choice is easy.

Tim Nerenz

Media Bias

LIE DETECTOR

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that day. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."

Dad says, “What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says,” Well he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother........

Let's see if we have this right:

from Neil Boortz

As you know, Iran recently nabbed three American hikers who (they say) had strayed across their border. So … let’s review the rules:

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally your are detained indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally you will be shot.

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be called a spy and your fate is sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into a political prison to rot.

If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get:

• A job.
• A driver’s license
• A Social Security card
• Welfare
• Food Stamps
• Credit Cards
• Subsidized Rent
• Subsidized home loans
• Free education
• Free health care
• Your very own lobbyist
• Billions of dollars worth of public documents printed in your language
• The right to carry your country’s flag while you protest that you don’t get enough respect.

As they say ….. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT !

Bingo Night

No Brains, No Future, No Kidding!

Kid Lost in Store

A young Muslim kid can't find his mother in the supermarket.

The store attendant asks "What does your mother look like?"

The kid says "How the hell should I know?"

FARMER...

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky.

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath, "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies....

Goodbye DADT

Mr. Methane

How to Repair Anything

Old Guy

An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym

when he spotted a sweet young thing.

He asked the trainer that was nearby,

"What machine in here should I use, to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said.

"You should use the ATM in the lobby".......

Obama Budget Plan

I Love WalMart

Virginia Earthquake

After yesterdays Virginia earthquake, politicians and scientists were asked for their initial opinions:

• Florida Congresswoman Corrine Brown demanding sandbags for protection from aftershock.
• Quake caused John Kerry to drop a drink on his foot. Inquiring about a Purple Heart.
• Ga. Congressman Hank Johnson checking to see if Guam is still right side up.
• Washington Monument reported to be leaning -- possibly crooked. To be renamed the Clinton Monument.
• Dow is up on rumors quake swallowed White House.
• Michelle: "OK, Barack. THAT time I felt the earth move. Now would you please not ask me again?"
• USGS says earthquake moved DC 3" closer to Moscow. Obama sneers at weak effort, vows to do better.
• Rick Santorum blames earthquake on Roe vs. Wade.
• Stay on Martha's Vineyard, Obama. One disaster in DC at a time please. Nothing you can do but make it worse.
• Obama claims the rich didn't suffer their fair share of earthquake damage.
• Obama says DC unprepared for earthquake due to Bush tax cuts.
• Sarah Palin says the cause of the quake is the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.

Aircraft Quiz

This should be an easy quiz to answer for those of you who have an interest and knowledge of aircraft. You may enjoy this quiz, even if you don’t know a lot about aircraft. The answer may surprise you.

What is the biggest advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?

Obama Supporters

Well That's Pretty Clear

Afraid?

Cope & Cringe

There is a certain percentage of the electorate who will never unclench their cloying hopeful fingers from the robe of their God-head Barrack Obama. So many in the mainstream media have invested in him the full measure of their credibility, integrity and, yes, even their dignity (Chris Matthews "thrill up the leg" springs to mind) that to criticize him and portray him as the failure, fool and flop that he is would totally destroy the only thing that really matters to them: Their egos. Blacks, understandably, don't want to admit that one of their own, who finally made it to a management position in the rarified air of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., wouldn't have even made a decent domestic. Add to that the fear that future black candidates might be dismissed out-of-hand for fear that this one might be another incarnation of "The One".

And finally, there are the "I hated Bush SOOOOOOO MUCH that no one no how no way could be any worse! And what's more...he stole BOTH elections!" crowd. This group, I suspect, accounts for the still unaccountably high percentage of current Obama supporters in current polls. How else could such a dismall Presidency retain so many supporters. Like the aforementioned Media types, they too can't admit to themselves that this man, who was obviously so superior to Dubya in every possible way; this man who was awarded the Nobel Prize based solely on his reassuring smile; this man who could have been the subject of a Dos Eqquis beer campaign, and this man on whom they pinned the expectation of "Hope and Change," could have reduced the people of this nation to a state of "Cope and Cringe."

Welcome to the Recovery

New! Peanut Butter AYDS

oBama on Taxes

Penn & Teller on the 2nd Amendment

Stupid blonde...

New Color Code

I Like Guns -- by Steve Lee

Chocolate