Chickenpox

Chickenpox is a common illness among kids, particularly those under age 12. An itchy rash of spots that look like blisters can appear all over the body and may be accompanied by flu-like symptoms. Symptoms usually go away without treatment, but because the infection is very contagious, an infected child should stay home and rest until the symptoms are gone.

Chickenpox is caused by the varicella-zoster virus (VZV). Kids can be protected from VZV by getting the chickenpox (varicella) vaccine, usually between the ages of 12 to 15 months. In 2006, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommended a booster shot at 4 to 6 years old for further protection. The CDC also recommends that people 13 years of age and older who have never had chickenpox or received chickenpox vaccine get two doses of the vaccine at least 28 days apart.

A person usually has only one episode of chickenpox, but VZV can lie dormant within the body and cause a different type of skin eruption later in life called shingles (or herpes zoster). Getting the chickenpox vaccine significantly lowers your child's chances of getting chickenpox, but he or she may still develop shingles later.

The Absent Minded Housewife

A rubber chicken, a ball peen hammer and a Tai-Bo VHS tape.

Part of the stereotype of housewife that I find interesting is the idea that I know a lot about appliances.

I'm not talking about blenders and waffle makers here. I'm talking about...ahem...other appliances. Personal appliances. Private appliances. Appliances that won't make you a smoothie.
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Rules of the Game

Rule #6: Only use red, white and blue if possible. This creates a strong association with America. Which is a "good" thing.

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Chicken cordon bleu is a dish designed to dispel pansy notions about chicken preparation. This is a meal that requires the chicken be thoroughly beaten with a ballpene hammer. The procedure is impressive even though it is ostensibly accomplished AFTER the chicken is dead. You don't need a hammer to kill a chicken. To really prove your manhood, wringing its neck will suffice. Some prefer merely choking the chicken. However, this can be a messy and embarrassing procedure if accomplished in public.

Admittedly Cordon Bleu is not the easiest dish to make. Yet, it is worth the trouble and violence required. Cordon Bleu tastes great and has the added benefit of having a French sounding name that you didn't make up. Your girl friend will have heard of this one before and will be shocked at your ability to put this together.

Make the most of the situation. Serve this meal with candlelight. It is one of the few meals that you should actually go through the trouble of selecting a wine. If your spouse is sophisticated, this is a dangerous maneuver. Be careful not to get a German wine. To be safe, don't buy anything that comes in a brown bottle or seems to require that you clear your throat in order to read the label, and buy nothing that you would have bought in college that begins with the letters MD and is fondly remembered with the appellation, "Mad Dog". Instead, get something that comes in one of those tall green bottles. Chardonay is good. Even though it sounds French, an American male can pronounce the word without lisping and having his wrist go limp. There is nothing worse than sounding like a girl when you are trying to impress the little woman.