WTF!?

What to say when...

And it better be a damn good one too!

Elephants Never Forget

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the
elephant’s foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant... Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe’s legs and slammed him against the railing killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.

oBama Supporters

Thanks BP

Vegetarians

Bulls**t Bingo

Rules for Bulls**t Bingo:

1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bulls**t Bingo"
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLS**T!" (or Shout out PELOSI as it means the same thing)

Testimonials from past satisfied "Bulls**t Bingo" players:

"I had been listening to the latest speech for only five minutes when I won."
-- Jack W., Boston


"My attention span during his speeches has improved dramatically."
-- David D. , Florida


"What a gas! Speeches will never be the same for me after my first win."
-- Bill R., New York City


The atmosphere was tense in the last speech as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
-- Ben G. , Denver


"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLS**T!" for the fifth time in one hour."
-- Linda S., Chicago


" As soon as he said 'previous administration' I hit Bingo twice!...vertical AND horizontal!"
-- Maria V., Los Angeles

Explain This...

Everyone knows and loves Chris-Chan.

And we've all met crazy African helicopter pilots.

But WTF did they smoke that turned that man into a troll!?

So Wrong...

DOCTORS & UNEMPLOYED

An Israeli doctor says,
"Medicine in my country is so advanced
that we can take a kidney out of one man,
put it in another, and have him looking for
work in six weeks."

A German doctor says,
"That is nothing; we can take a lung
out of one person, put it in another, and
have him looking for work in four weeks. "

A Russian doctor says.
"In my country, medicine is so advanced
that we can take half a heart out of one
person, put it in another, and have them
both looking for work in two weeks."

An ILLINOIS doctor, says.
"You guys are way behind..
We recently took a man with
no brains out of ILLINOIS ,
put him in the White House
and within SIX MONTHS,
half the COUNTRY is looking for work."

So sad when a joke is so close to the truth.....

Now I know who Voted for Obama

This is from a San Francisco newspaper:

Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives & votes

AND, may have already reproduced.......

God help us all.......

SEPARATED AT BIRTH ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Ron Wood and Helen Thomas

Obama

Gotcha!

Obama Supporters

Thanks BP!

Arizona Posters

Game Over

Fetch me Slippers

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, 'Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip up stairs and fetch me slippers?'

'No bother' says Murphy, and runs upstairs.

There, sat on their bed, are Paddy's stunning 19 yr old twin daughters. 'Hello girls, your dad sent me up here to shag ya both.'

'F*ck off ya liar' they said.

'I'll prove it' says paddy. So he shouts down the stairs 'Both of them Paddy?'

'Course' he says 'What's the use of f*cking one of them.'

WOMAN WITH THE BIGGEST BOOBS

...unbelievable...

photo of a woman with the two biggest boobs I have ever seen....

Audacity of A Dope!

So, where you vacationing this week Mr. President?

Come to the USA