Things I Don't Miss About George W. Bush...

President Bush:

1. joined with open-borders progressives McCain and Kennedy to try to force shamnesty down our throats;
2. massively expanded the federal role in education;
3. championed the Medicare prescription drug entitlement using phony math;
4. kowtowed to the jihadi-enabling Saudis;
5. stocked DHS with incompetents and cronies;
6. pushed Hillarycare for housing;
7. enabled turncoat Arlen Specter;
8. nominated crony Harriet Myers to the Supreme Court;
9. pre-socialized the economy for Obama by embracing TARP, the auto bailouts, the AIG bailout, and in his own words:

“I’ve abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system.”
–George W. Bush

No, I don’t miss having a corporate socialist Republican in the White House any more than I like having a corporate socialist Democrat in the White House now.

It's only NORML

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

'nuff said...

Is She the Piñata?

It was what she considered fitting, I guess, to honor & welcome the Spanish Prime Minister.

They were to attend an outdoor Fiesta Concert celebrating Hispanic musical heritage.

How DID those people on either side of them keep a straight face?

Is she the piñata?

Michele Obama has how many assistants?

And they let her dress like that!?

Society Sucks

TWO BROTHERS CHAT…

Saying Goodbye to Mother

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! '

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Union Thugs Demand More Money

Albany Police Officers Union President Chris Mesley says that, regardless of the faltering economy, a no-raise new contract is unacceptable. And to hell with the public.

Mesley said. "If their taxes have go up to cover my raise, I'm very sorry about that, but I have to look out for myself and my membership." Mesley went on to say "As the president of the local, I will not accept 'zeroes.' If that ticks off some taxpayers, then so be it."


And that's how it is with those unionized thugs. It's your money and they want it. Now hand it over.

City Kids!

Life Without Farms

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled:

"FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!"

I guess there aren't many farms in Detroit .

SOTU...

STATE of the UNION Address...

WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's all BUSH'S fault...

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

OUR HERO OBAMA??

Things that make you go ... hmm

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET:

• A JOB,
• A DRIVERS LICENSE,
• SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
• WELFARE,
• FOOD STAMPS,
• CREDIT CARDS,
• SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
• FREE EDUCATION,
• FREE HEALTH CARE,
• A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON,
• BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE,
• AND, THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT!!!

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE ALL HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION….

CAN-O-WHOOPASS

The Cowboy

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.'

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him..

She quietly called him over to her.

Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

'Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor..

Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'

The Angry Womans Golf Clubs

Your Badge

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.


The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”


The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.


A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get crushed before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...

"Your badge -- show him your BADGE!”

Congress Passes New Law of Thermodynamics

In a bid to free the nation from foreign oil and bring its carbon footprint to naught, Congressional Democrats passed a new law of thermodynamics, which states, "From each according to ability; to each according to need." This should lead to real energy independence once supply of energy becomes independent of its demand.

In practical terms, the new legislation establishes a new energy regime called "greenergy," according to which supply will match demand based on need and not on any particular technology's ability. Under this scheme, alternating current (AC) will be replaced with alternative current. The new AC will work by adjusting the needy consumer rather than the supply. Said one Senator, "For alternative energy we need an alternative consumer. That much is clear."

This will be accomplished by attaching a series of government greenergy regulators to the energy grid at the user end, to adjust the customer need as required. In the unlikely event a government regulator loses efficiency or fails, causing a short-term shortage of greenergy available, the alternative empowerment proviso kicks in. In such an event the greenergy system will run a temporary energy budget deficit which will be paid back at a later date as new technologies come online.

"Finally alternative energies will be able to compete with traditional ones on an equal footing," said the Senator. "This bill allows the conservation of energy to conserve energy. What could be simpler or more obvious?"

Diplomacy

Abortion!

On A Crowded Train

The train was quite crowded, and the U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant."

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor. Put this American in his place."

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."