No Brains, No Future, No Kidding!

Kid Lost in Store

A young Muslim kid can't find his mother in the supermarket.

The store attendant asks "What does your mother look like?"

The kid says "How the hell should I know?"

FARMER...

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky.

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath, "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies....

Goodbye DADT

Mr. Methane

How to Repair Anything

Old Guy

An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym

when he spotted a sweet young thing.

He asked the trainer that was nearby,

"What machine in here should I use, to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said.

"You should use the ATM in the lobby".......

Obama Budget Plan

I Love WalMart

Virginia Earthquake

After yesterdays Virginia earthquake, politicians and scientists were asked for their initial opinions:

• Florida Congresswoman Corrine Brown demanding sandbags for protection from aftershock.
• Quake caused John Kerry to drop a drink on his foot. Inquiring about a Purple Heart.
• Ga. Congressman Hank Johnson checking to see if Guam is still right side up.
• Washington Monument reported to be leaning -- possibly crooked. To be renamed the Clinton Monument.
• Dow is up on rumors quake swallowed White House.
• Michelle: "OK, Barack. THAT time I felt the earth move. Now would you please not ask me again?"
• USGS says earthquake moved DC 3" closer to Moscow. Obama sneers at weak effort, vows to do better.
• Rick Santorum blames earthquake on Roe vs. Wade.
• Stay on Martha's Vineyard, Obama. One disaster in DC at a time please. Nothing you can do but make it worse.
• Obama claims the rich didn't suffer their fair share of earthquake damage.
• Obama says DC unprepared for earthquake due to Bush tax cuts.
• Sarah Palin says the cause of the quake is the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.

Aircraft Quiz

This should be an easy quiz to answer for those of you who have an interest and knowledge of aircraft. You may enjoy this quiz, even if you don’t know a lot about aircraft. The answer may surprise you.

What is the biggest advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-winged aircraft?

Obama Supporters

Well That's Pretty Clear

Afraid?

Cope & Cringe

There is a certain percentage of the electorate who will never unclench their cloying hopeful fingers from the robe of their God-head Barrack Obama. So many in the mainstream media have invested in him the full measure of their credibility, integrity and, yes, even their dignity (Chris Matthews "thrill up the leg" springs to mind) that to criticize him and portray him as the failure, fool and flop that he is would totally destroy the only thing that really matters to them: Their egos. Blacks, understandably, don't want to admit that one of their own, who finally made it to a management position in the rarified air of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., wouldn't have even made a decent domestic. Add to that the fear that future black candidates might be dismissed out-of-hand for fear that this one might be another incarnation of "The One".

And finally, there are the "I hated Bush SOOOOOOO MUCH that no one no how no way could be any worse! And what's more...he stole BOTH elections!" crowd. This group, I suspect, accounts for the still unaccountably high percentage of current Obama supporters in current polls. How else could such a dismall Presidency retain so many supporters. Like the aforementioned Media types, they too can't admit to themselves that this man, who was obviously so superior to Dubya in every possible way; this man who was awarded the Nobel Prize based solely on his reassuring smile; this man who could have been the subject of a Dos Eqquis beer campaign, and this man on whom they pinned the expectation of "Hope and Change," could have reduced the people of this nation to a state of "Cope and Cringe."

Welcome to the Recovery

New! Peanut Butter AYDS

oBama on Taxes

Penn & Teller on the 2nd Amendment

Stupid blonde...

New Color Code

I Like Guns -- by Steve Lee

Chocolate

BRADLEY MANNING

Dead Perv Alert!

Read full story here.

Harry the Eagle

Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.

After a while when she didn’t return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren’t any lady eagles available he’d have to cross the feather barrier.

So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest..

The sex was good but all the dove would say is ………….. ‘I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!’

Well this so got on Harry’s nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is…….

‘I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!’ So out with the loon.

Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was…..

Bert's Boots

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife of forty years, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."

It's Not Just for Guys Anymore

Golfer in Chief

Air Show Disaster Photo

Air Show Disaster

Amazing photos show great detail.

The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft. It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show and slams into four buildings.

One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

Photo below:

The Dumbest Thing Ever Said!

UNVEILING

With breathless anticipation the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Obama statue.

New Ambulance in Phoenix, AZ

Coming soon to your city or town!

A Bumper Sticker

Cold Weather - On It's Way

I just got off the phone with a client in northern North Dakota near the Canadian border.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.

The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.

His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in......

Thanks Bartender

A guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, “What-ull you have?”

The guy says, “Martini.”

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?”

The guy says, “168.”

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious so he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, “What-ull you have?”

The guy says, “Martini.”

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?”

The guy says, “100.”

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..

He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What-ull you have?”

The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?”

The guy says, “Uh, about 50..”

The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

How The Heck Did They Get In There?

Questions

A young Arab asks his father:

- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?

It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !

- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?

It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !

- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?

These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !

Tell me, papa...

Yes, my son?

Why are we living in Racine Wisconsin and still wearing all this shit?