Angry Bitch

Medicare, Part "G"

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years, or older, a gun (G) and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.

Of course, this means you'll be sent to prison, where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning and all the health care you need.  Probably even cable TV...

Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered.

As an added bonus, your kids will come and visit you more often than they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.

And, you can get rid of four useless politicians while you're at it.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income taxes anymore.

 

Is this a great country or what? 

$634 MILLION

The oBama administration spent six hundred and thirty four million dollars to bring us this.

NEVER STAND IN LINE AGAIN

Some men carry and handle their diplomacy better than others........

When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan , Stanley McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.

"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama his resignation.

Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to pee on my grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."

Who wants to go on a pony ride?

Nom nom...

President Obama hits the golf course... again...

Like Tiger said, "Not bad for a guy who only hits the links 5 or 6 days a week."

Child prays to Barack oBama [creepy alert!]

A Very Presidential Pose

Take that Vladimir Putin!

'Nuff Said...

The Last Nickel

A man entered a restaurant with his very young son. He gave the boy three nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy was choking, turning blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels: He began slapping him on the back. The child coughed up two nickels, but continued choking. Seeing his son in such distress, the father panicked and shouted for help.

An attractive, serious-looking, lady in a dark blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping coffee. She looked up, put the cup down, folded the newspaper neatly, placing it on it on the counter, rose from her seat strutted stylishly unhurried, through the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, she carefully removed his pants; took his testicles in her right hand and started to squeeze, twisting, gently at first, and then strongly. The lad convulsed violently and coughed up the coin, which the woman deftly caught with her free hand.

She released the boy's testicles, handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the counter without saying a word.

When the man was sure his son has suffered no ill effects, he went over to the lady to thank her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that; it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? " 

"No," the lady replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

Blame...

Phony...

Ammo shortage

Folks, The situation on getting ammo is getting really tight, but this morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of ammo.

I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

She happened to notice my two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"

I Have a Dream

TM was stupid and BHO is stupider.

Tampon Earrings

MSNBC host keeping it classy...

The Religion of Peace

oBama's Detroit

I've Made A Huge...

Can You Name This Old Tool?

Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history. 

Do you know what this is?


Give it a guess, and then look below for the answer.

Hint:
Used by a physician .........

Hint:
It's a medical tool ........

Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s-1810s)

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient's rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum.

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blowin' smoke up your ass."


It has been reintroduced in Washington, by the Obama Administration as an integral part of the new Health Care program.

Red States vs Blue States

Chicago Style...

Heckler gonna get it Chicago style!

Survivor, Texas-Style!

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style!" 

The 9 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville ...

They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo .

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas ...

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads: 

"I'm a Democrat,"
"I'm Gay,"
"I love the Dixie Chicks,"
"Boycott Beef,"
"I Voted for Obama,"
" George Strait Sucks,"
"Hillary in 2012"
   And
"I'm here to confiscate your guns.." 

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. 

God Bless Texas !! 

One Nation under oBama

Well......

Pretty Much...

Big Brother Anyone?

Was it Worth Voting for Him, TWICE!?

The Flag of People Against PRISM

INEPTOCRACY

 Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

Difference Between Supreme Court and Ku Klux Klan

What's the difference between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan?

The Supreme Court wears black robes and scares the hell out of white people.

Who's that?

Who's that sitting in oBama's chair?  peeBO get's shown up in his own office.  LOL

Amnesty

Speaking of Teams and Opinions

I'll be frank, since it's good to speak clearly and be heard as such. Everyone is playing for a team. They are born into these teams, genetically hardwired to come out black or brown or male or female, and you'd be hard-pressed to get them to back the opposition on any front. Stretch?

Well, have a look at American elections; people are so polarized between conservative and liberal groups, they don't think for a second they're wrong about anything, even if they're doing the exact same things they've previously called the other team out on.

A lot of this also has to do with where they pick it up at. On a campus, if you're not a liberal, you're a goddamned pariah. The ideas of institutional racism/tyrannical patriarchy are greatly emphasized in almost all aspects of college life now, and along with them, the justification that it's acceptable to be prejudiced against white males. 

The irony, of course, is lost on them; they have become the monster in the mirror, and vehement (and grossly intentional) denial of the truth behind what they stand for says one thing: For some reason, they are unwilling to look into that mirror, perhaps because they're afraid of what they'll see. 

Much of this doublethink and the terms they use smack greatly of communist subversion, at the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist - which is another term they bandy about to isolate and silence any dissenters. Obviously.  That's my take. 

I read the whole entry and understand your perspective, and your frustrations. Perhaps open-mindedness isn't something to be sought out through political affiliations, as many would have us believe. When politics come into play, everything has interchangeable meanings – especially "open-mindedness."

-- Author Unknown

About The Gays

I've always believed homosexuality was largely biological, and have never really had a beef with them.

However, it has never been something I care to hear a great deal about… my understanding is that the 10% figure is way too high, and I've heard 2 or 3% is more accurate. This is a small minority of people… and it’s also clearly something that could reasonably be thought of as a birth defect. I’m all for treating gay people with dignity, respect, and leaving them alone… but I feel that this very rare variant of human sexuality has become FAR too prominent in our national landscape. We are hearing about it FAR too often and they are pushing FAR too hard for more and more.

People need to be adult about these things and just realize, some times you get the short end of the stick from birth… if you’re blind, people will try to do things like invent braille, seeing eye dogs, etc… but at the end of the day, you will face massively more hardship than the sighted. If you’re deaf, we invent sign language and cochlear implants and we try hard to accommodate those disabilities or any other… wheelchair ramps, etc… but at the end of the day, being born with an unusual defect, no matter what it is… is ALWAYS going to be an inconvenience and doom you to a life of living in a world that just doesn't seem built for you.

It’s sad, but it’s the nature of the real world… and much like the deaf shouldn't expect everyone to stop listening to music or to learn sign language, and the blind shouldn't expect everyone to wear blindfolds in solidarity… and paraplegics shouldn't expect everyone to use wheelchairs in solidarity… homosexuals should not expect the rest of society to rework its entire understanding of marriage and family and sexuality.

I realize it must have been rough for people living in the closet in the 50′s, etc… but frankly society was healthier because it had a clarity about gender roles, sexuality, and such. Unfortunately, for a society to be healthy and strong, I believe it is inevitable that some will feel left out.

--Author unknown

How Could this Happen?

This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX who reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Pedernales River near the state highway bridge. 

The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in Kerrville ... He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 6 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 2½ inch false eyelashes and an Obama T-shirt.

The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment. 

Texas police do care!

Voter Crossing

BE PREPARED !!!!!!!

Rumors are circulating in California that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in Los Angeles, killing anyone who is a legal U.S. citizen.

 

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 23.

Frequent Filer Miles and Swinging on Mars

The year is 2222, and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen .

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another...

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen

'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough for me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to admit it to you,' says Maureen , 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache ... She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'

How come?

Sonoran Dog

El Guero Canelo, Tucson, Ariz.: Sonoran Dog

El Guero Canelo

Next on our list is a hot dog that is completely unlike any other in the country: the Sonoran Dog, a shining example of international cooperation. John T. Edge first brought this hot dog into the spotlight in 2009, and even though it’s been around for more than 40 years, the Sonoran is having quite a moment in the sun. Here’s how it works: a hot dog is wrapped in bacon (good place to start), griddled until crispy, stuffed into a split-top bun that’s different from any other in the country, and topped with any of a slew of condiments that usually involve beans, diced tomatoes, mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise. There are stands all over Tucson selling Sonorans, but the most shining example is sold in the humble, ragtag El Guero Canelo, which got its start as a tiny cart run by Daniel and Blanca Contreras in 1993 and now has a semi-outdoor seating area, a massive array of toppings, and an ever-present jovial vibe.

New Democrat Golf Hat

Coexist

Gosnell Who?

Libtards

Who do you love!?

I Miss Chicago...

I was in Ft. Myers, Florida the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a  parked car that read: "I Miss Chicago."

So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"

The Joke

The oBama Express

All aboard!!

Imagine If...

Operation Floodgate

Never Again ... The historical truth about gun control

Buy a Shotgun

Free Ride

Hop on-board the oBamacare Express!

And for his next trick...

... you will all get to see President oBama balance the ball on his nose!

Dark Times

Times are bad.

The Battling Boys of Benghazi

Ignorance Is No Excuse For Stupidity

From the president who demanded Georgetown University hide or remove all religious and Christian symbols; appearing under a portrait of Arafat (the 2nd most prolific terrorist in modern history) is not a problem.  What an embarrassment oBama is to the USA.

The Plan

Makin' Bacon