Indian Clocks

There was once this cowboy, riding through the wild west. One day, off in the distance, he sees a small cloud of dust. So he rides his horse up to it, and finds its an Indian laying on the ground with his cock sticking out of his pants! The cowboy gets off his horse and asks, "What are you doing?", to which the Indian replies, "Me tell time! Penis acts as sundial." The cowboy in disbelief says, "Ok, what time is it?" The Indian looks down at his "3:35..." "That's amazing, your right!" the cowboy says in amazement. So he hops onto his horse and keeps going.

Riding along further, he sees the same thing, gets off his horse, and thinking the last Indian was a fluke, asks this one the time. The Indian looks down at his "one eyed bandit" and says "4:40". The cowboy is stunned, the time was right again! Shaking his head he hops back onto his horse and rides again.

After riding a while again, he sees yet another Indian on the ground with his "bald headed champ" except he was jerking off. The cowboy hops off his horse and says, "And what are you doing?" to which the Indian replies, "Me winding clock."

Best of Craigslist Ads

You in the SNOW CAR

---

Date: 2009-10-29, 9:41AM MDT

---

Yeah, YOU.

Lazy, ignorant, non-snow-removing phucktard speeding through rush hour traffic on glare ice with 10% visibility.

What is your major malfunction, dipshit?

I see that you are driving a $40,000 luxury SUV, but you cannot afford a $5 snow brush?

It makes me HOMICIDALLY ENRAGED when I see a fucking SNOWBANK with a small patch of hazed over windscreen clear, weaving in and out of heavy traffic, leaving a blizzard of powder in its wake. Sometimes, if they tromp on the gas, half the snow on the roof falls onto the car behind them. Ice encrusted wipers pump furiously to clear away the snow blowing back from their uncleared hood, and if they step on the brakes an avalanche will block their vision entirely.

Fuck you, snow car . . . I want to kill you.

I saw dozens of snow forts zooming around Downtown this morning. Because it is too much work to warm up your car for a few minutes while clearing the snow with a brush. And they are going to be late to punch in . . . again.

Okay, phucktard, here is what you do. Stop popping those Prozacs, turn off your cellphone, and have a cuppa coffee. Then, go outside, clear the driver side door, open it, start your vehicle, turn the defrost on, relock your vehicle (with the spare key none of you yuppie fucks seem to have) and go back inside. Relax for a few minutes while the car warms up. Then, grab your broom and go out there and push the fucking 8" of snow off the roof of your car! After that, you can clear the rest, using a snowbrush and scraper to get the areas the broom can't do. There you go, nice squared away, warm vehicle with full visibility that will not be such a menace to every other motorist.

Sometimes I try to visualize what you are doing inside the snow car. I see you listening to shitty music at full volume while balancing a bowl of breakfast cereal on your lap and texting a friend about where you'd like to get drunk after work. I despise you, snow car. And you should be thankful that anti-tank rockets are so hard to come by.

• Location: rebuilding my flamethrower
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

To the girl I had drunk sex with last night - m4w

---

Date: 2009-10-24, 9:14PM PDT

---

Drinking in the U-District sure is fun, isn't it! You can end up doing the craziest things!

Such as getting drunk, and stumbling home with an equally drunk coed.

Oh my God, I was so wasted. I don't remember meeting you. I don't remember taking the bus with you. I assume we took the bus, as neither of us were in any position to drive, and my apartment is a good five miles from where we drank, which would be far too long a walk when sober. I do remember briefly talking in the bar (although I don't know what about). I remember us naked in my living room. I hope we kept our clothes on until we entered my apartment.

We drank some more at my place. I think. Everything is very hazy. You were hot, and a senior from a sorority. That's great. I think that made the sex better, somehow. Because I don't remember much, but I think we had amazing (albeit sloppy) sex, for a long while. May I take a second here to congratulate myself on staying hard despite so much alcohol. You did well, too. It was fun.

Then we fell asleep. I woke up with a massive headache and an inability to recall the previous night. You were gone when I woke up, all traces of you vanished. I was merely a one night stand for you. I don't regret it, though. I just have two questions.

What's your name? And, can I please have my wallet back?

You puked on my leg - m4w (196 bus to York)

---

Date: 2009-10-23, 8:11AM EDT

---

Me: Young, professional-looking law student heading to school a bit early on the 196 bus to York. Black coat, dark pants, nice shoes, brief case, coffee mug. It's job interview call-day for the law firms and I wanted to get to school early so I could sit down in a quiet place, relax, and answer the phone for half an hour.

You: Another passenger on the bus, possibly with swine flu or a nasty hangover. I never got to see your face but you obviously couldn't contain yourself when you saw me, as you vomited all over my leg as we got off the bus. Nothing like wiping other people's puke off your jeans with Subway napkins at 8 in the morning. Thanks.

• Location: 196 bus to York
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Children's guillotine

---

Date: 2009-10-13, 6:55PM CDT

---

Looking to get rid of this childen's size guillotine, only used once. Has been cleaned and recently oiled, sure to make any child happy! Christmas is coming up soon so don't miss this one!!

• Location: Lawrence KS
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

FREE TO A GOOD HOME

---

Date: 2009-09-20, 5:36PM AKDT

---

FREE TO A GOOD HOMEHave we got a great deal for you!

Have you ever wondered how your life would be with a hateful, cantankerous, rude, hypocrytical, opinionated, obnoxious, obese, angry, hairy, verbally abusive, and co-dependant Grandfather that your not related to?

His name is Leland, hes in his 70's, hopefully in poor health. Leland enjoys judging others and enabling one of his many criminal children to plunder various objects from his wives family.

If you enjoy suspenders, creepy non-audible chuckling, being referred to as "dickhead", generic old man comb-overs, random accusations of drug abuse, that old people stench that sticks in the back of your throat, rude judgemtal comments about your loved ones, watching your grandmother be maliciously manipulated into hating her own children/grandchildren/anyone, your house being cluttered with useless shit that he pretends he invented, and interacting with someone who is completely devoid of a soul, then we have the Leland for you!

Care Instructions:
1)Leland needs plenty of happiness to suck out of the area around him, so make sure that you provide him enough sacrifices. (I.E. children, cats, adult humans....really anyone extra you have laying around).
2) Make sure you have a healthy supply of ridiculous red suspenders readily available.
3)An elderly woman to follow around and order about.
4)Enough tools to invent really crappy things that for some wierd reason really have been invented before.
5)Thousands of dollars in cash or anything tradeable/sellable/pawnable so that his worthless, space wasting peices of shit sons can come and steal it for drugs.
6)Anyone that ever needs a favor excluding anyone in his family, so that he can have the immense joy and satisfaction of telling them no.
7)Cats to kick.
8) Children to kick.
9)Disabled people to kick.
10)Erection pills, he cant get it up alone, but he needs to jerk off to his diabolical genius. Possibly his inability to achieve an erection has caused some of his more "Fun" personality quirks.


As hard as it is to let such a wonderful person and human being leave our lives... We all feel the need to share this beautiful creation of god with the rest of the community, if not the world.

If you feel up to the task... PLEASE don't dilly dally around.. I imagine everyone will rush to respond to such an earth shattering offer... he may be gone before you can get to him.

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY

• Location: Peter Creek
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1384332033

Thought For The Day!

Incredible Luck!!!

If this does not touch your heart, then you just don't have one.....

An incredible story of luck and inspiration!

Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in the lottery last Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later.

Talk about LUCK!

The New Pu.

Announcement

The densest element in the known Universe has been found!

PELOSIUM:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.

Boudreaux the Baptist

Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."

Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

Enough is Enough

He's bowed to the King of Saud, the Emperor of Japan, and the President of China but enough is enough. Bowing to the 2nd grade student body president at Grover Cleveland Elementary School is just too much.

Amazing Movie Test

Try this test. Scroll down and do the quiz as it instructs and find out what movie is your favorite. It really works! This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most. Don't ask me how.

• Pick a number from 1-9.
• Multiply by 3.
• Add 3.
• Multiply by 3 again.
• Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below.

Mine was "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly" - exactly right! So be honest, and do it before you scroll down to see the list below. It's easy and it works.


Now look up your number in the list below:

1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Beverly Hills Cop
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Goat
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story

Cannabis Smoker Celebrates 120th Birthday

A 120 year old Indian woman living with her 92 year old daughter and 72 year old grandson is baffled by her longevity: "I don't know how I've survived so long. Many relatives much younger than me have died". One theory suggests it's her habitual drug use. According to the Sun, the 120 year old Fulla Nayak smokes cannabis cigars and drinks strong palm wine, and this could be the secret of her success.

I'm 63 and Im Tired

"I'm 63 and Im Tired"
by Robert A. Hall

I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.

I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood Entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Christian people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela.

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.

I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.

I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.

I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.

I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.

I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois , where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.

Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.

Obama Care

They Pay No Taxes

Tax Day is a dreaded deadline for millions, but for nearly half of U.S. households it's simply somebody else's problem.

About 47 percent will pay no federal income taxes at all for 2009. Either their incomes were too low, or they qualified for enough credits, deductions and exemptions to eliminate their liability. That's according to projections by the Tax Policy Center, a Washington research organization.

In recent years, credits for low-income families have grown so much that a family of four making as much as $50,000 will owe no federal income tax for 2009, as long as there are two children younger than 17, according to a separate analysis by the consulting firm Deloitte Tax.

Tax cuts enacted in the past decade have been generous to a small number of wealthy taxpayers making them a target for President Barack Obama and Democrats in Congress. Less noticed were tax cuts and huge tax credits for low-income families, which were greatly expanded by Obama when he signed the massive economic recovery package last year. Most of the credits are refundable, meaning if the credits exceed the amount of income taxes owed, the taxpayer gets a payment from the government for the difference.

The result is a tax system that rewards the bottom 40 percent. They, on average, make a profit from the federal income tax, meaning they receive more in tax credits than they pay into the tax system. Yes you did read that right; they get more back than they pay in! The federal government is paying them for their lack of performance and failure to contribute to the well being of our nation.

"We have 50 percent of people who are getting something for nothing," said Curtis Dubay, senior tax policy analyst at the Heritage Foundation.

The result is a tax system that exempts almost half the country from paying for programs that benefit everyone, including national defense, public safety, infrastructure and education. It is a system in which the top 10 percent of earners -- households making an average of $366,400 in 2006 -- paid about 73 percent of the income taxes collected by the federal government.

The federal income tax is the government's largest source of revenue, raising more than $900 billion -- or a little less than half of all government receipts -- in the budget year that ended last Sept. 30. But with deductions and credits, especially for families with children, there have long been people who don't pay it, mainly lower-income families.

The number of households that don't pay federal income taxes increased substantially in 2008, when the poor economy reduced incomes and Congress cut taxes in an attempt to help recovery.

In 2007, about 38 percent of households paid no federal income tax, a figure that jumped to 49 percent in 2008, according to estimates by the Tax Policy Center.

Last year, Obama signed the economic recovery law that expanded some tax credits and created others. Most targeted low-income families while only a select few targeted middle-income families.

Obama's Making Work Pay credit provides as much as $800 to couples and $400 to individuals. The expanded child tax credit provides $1,000 for each child under 17. The Earned Income Tax Credit provides up to $5,657 to low-income families. That's an awful lot of hard working people's money Obama is freely redistributing to lazy and uneducated people.

"All these things are ways the Obama administration says, if you vote for us, we will pay you more for doing less," said William Roberston, a senior fellow at the Tax Policy Center.

Obama has pushed tax cuts for low-income families and tax increases for the middle-class and the wealthy, arguing that hard working taxpayers fared well in the past decade, so it's time for the working people to pay more.

That ought to put a lot more sting in your April 15. You can thank President Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.


IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing..' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' he said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She's a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs Office

AND THE BIGGEST IDIOT SIGHTING OF THEM ALL:

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? Lee - A?? Lay - a?? Lei??
No, Nope, NO, & Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

My Favorites

Dear Lord . . . this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. . . . I just wanted to let you know that Nancy Pelosi is my favorite congressman, Harry Reid is my favorite senator, and Barack Obama is my favorite president. Amen......

Illegal Aliens

From the L. A. Times:

1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are illegal aliens from south of the border.
8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L. A. Are Spanish speaking.
10. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.. (There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County .)

(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth(and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens .

We are fools for letting this continue

Please Don't Feed the Animals

I went to a park the other day where a ranger was “on patrol”. I saw a sign that said, “Please do not feed the animals.” I thought it strange. Why, I wondered, should we allow the animals to go hungry when we have a tremendous abundance of food with much of it going to waste. I wondered why we should NOT feed the animals.

I queried the ranger, “Why NOT feed the animals. It looks like they could use a bit of food.”

The ranger replied, “Well, there are MANY reasons. One reason is that we have many visitors here each year. If all the visitors routinely fed the animals, they would grow quite fat. Also, they would not have to forage for their food, and would become dependent upon the visitors for food. They would ‘forget’ how to forage for themselves and lose their independence. Not only that, but they learn to eschew their natural food and prefer ‘human’ food—which is not healthy for them. Also, since they don’t forage, they don’t get exercise, they develop health problems, and die early because of the improper diet and lack of exercise.

Continue reading at Whiskey & Gunpowder

Good Vibrations

(Click for larger image)

Fishing with Grandpa

Timmy and his grandfather went fishing one day.

About a half an hour in, Grandpa takes out a beer and starts to drink it. "Hey Grandpa, can I have a sip of your beer?", Timmy asks. Grandpa says,"Well let me ask you a question. Can you touch your asshole with the tip of your penis?" Timmy is appalled. "No! I'm only 10 yrs old!" he says. Grandpa says, "Well until you can, no beer."

About half an hour later, Grandpa lights a cigar. Same question by Timmy, and the same answer from Grandpa.

After another half hour has passed Timmy gets out a bag of Oreos and stars to eat them. Grandpa says,"Hey Timmy, may I have one of those cookies?" Timmy says,"Let me ask you a question. Can you touch your asshole with the tip of your penis?" Grandpa gets a proud look on his face and says,"Yes I can!"

Timmy says "Good. Go fuck yourself, these are MY oreos!"

Tragedy in New Orleans

It seems like every couple of days New Orleans loses one of its treasured entrepreneurs.

These people are the hope for the city and we must call a halt to this unfortunate trend if we ever expect to see a vibrant city again.

(Click for larger image)

Entrepreneur?????

It took me a couple of minutes to get it, but NINE welfare recipients (9 kids by the time he’s 25 years old) collecting about $500 each(depending on the state) Aide to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) monthly payments equals $4,500 a month!!!


He comes from a family with 8 brothers and 5 sisters! His parents had FOURTEEN children, all presumably living in New Orleans and making their way as "entrepreneurs" eligible for similar benefits.


Now, he shrewdly insures his "companion" Kawanner is not his "wife" to qualify as a single parent household without child support collection obligations. As an "entrepreneur" he insures he has no reportable W2 income to maintain AFDC financial eligibility.


Add food stamp benefits, free medical under state/federal MEDICAID program, free school lunches, low-income heating assistance, Supplement Security Income (SSI) and SSI Caretaker Supplement Program of $250 for first child and $150 each additional and $400 to caretaker parent, child care assistance, job access loans,


Community Service Job training program, transportation assistance, children's services network, on and on and on. Now that indeed is a real Entrepreneur.


Makes one proud to be a Democrat.

Got Nothin' On Me

PSALM 2010

Obama is the shepherd I did not want.

He leadeth me beside the still factories.

He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.

He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line, I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.

He has anointed my income with taxes.

My expenses runneth over.

Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life.

And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.

I am glad I am American, I am glad that I am free.

But I wish I was a dog and Obama was a tree!

Obama's April Fools Joke

I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. – Barack Obama, Sept.12, 2008 Dover, NH