Virginia Earthquake

After yesterdays Virginia earthquake, politicians and scientists were asked for their initial opinions:

• Florida Congresswoman Corrine Brown demanding sandbags for protection from aftershock.
• Quake caused John Kerry to drop a drink on his foot. Inquiring about a Purple Heart.
• Ga. Congressman Hank Johnson checking to see if Guam is still right side up.
• Washington Monument reported to be leaning -- possibly crooked. To be renamed the Clinton Monument.
• Dow is up on rumors quake swallowed White House.
• Michelle: "OK, Barack. THAT time I felt the earth move. Now would you please not ask me again?"
• USGS says earthquake moved DC 3" closer to Moscow. Obama sneers at weak effort, vows to do better.
• Rick Santorum blames earthquake on Roe vs. Wade.
• Stay on Martha's Vineyard, Obama. One disaster in DC at a time please. Nothing you can do but make it worse.
• Obama claims the rich didn't suffer their fair share of earthquake damage.
• Obama says DC unprepared for earthquake due to Bush tax cuts.
• Sarah Palin says the cause of the quake is the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.