Monday, September 21, 2009

Motorcycle Maintenance

A motorcycle enthusiast is over at a friend's house. "You know, I've been wondering about something for a long time," he says. "How do you keep you cycle so shiny all the time?"

"That's my big secret," says his friend, "but since you're such a close buddy, I'll tell you what it is. I always carry Vaseline with me, so that whenever it rains when I'm out with my bike, I put Vaseline all over the painted areas, and it protects them from the moisture. Later, I wipe it down with a cloth, and it keeps the bike looking great. As a matter of fact, I just bought a whole bunch of Vaseline today - would you like a container?"

The guy says, "Sure, thanks! But now I gotta go. I'm supposed to meet my girlfriend at her parents' house for dinner. I've never been there before, so I can't be late."

So he puts the Vaseline in his pocket, gets on his bike and speeds off. When he arrives at the house, his girlfriend is waiting on the front porch. "Listen, honey," she says, "there's something you should know about my family. We have a strange little custom at dinnertime: the first person who speaks at the dinner table has to do the dishes."

"Oh, OK," he says, "thanks for the warning."

But he isn't prepared for what he sees next. When he goes inside, he sees dirty dishes piled up in the front hallway. When he goes through the living room, he sees dishes piled up on the coffee table, on the couch, even on top of the TV. When he gets to the dining room, he can hardly pull a chair out to sit down, because of all the dishes on the floor.

At this point, realizing the situation he's in, he isn't about to say anything about the dishes, or anything else for that matter, so he sits down for dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.

They sit there, eating quietly, and when everyone is finished, they all remain seated at the table, without saying anything. After about 15 minutes of silence, the guy starts to get antsy. He thinks, "I'm going to get the father to say something."

So he grabs his girlfriend, throws her down on the table, and has sex with her, right in front of her parents. Nobody says a word. So then he grabs the mother, throws her on the table, and does it with her. Still nobody says anything.

Suddenly, there's a crack of thunder outside. The guy leaps up and pulls the Vaseline out of his pocket. The father throws his napkin on the table and says, "ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I'LL DO THE DISHES!!"

1 comment:

The real Tony Ramone said...

You are a really fucking sick asshole in need of some serious help!